So before I start I would like everybody to take up their phones pick it up and then give it to the person on the left or the right it doesn’t matter which one as long as you don’t have your own phone on you and don’t worry you’re going to get your phone’s back so don’t worry about it. Okay so now put your phones back into your pocket and take a deep breath. Welcome to old world. I love playing cowboys and Indians, I thought it was great fun and I live where there was a lot of nature used to ride bikes and skateboard and this goes out to the younger generation. We hardly had any technology at all we had one TV and two channels and we had a phone stuck on the wall and sometimes when it rang we didn’t even answer the phone and I know it’s shocking but it is true and then computers came into my life such as Atari and Commodore 64 and I was blown away and the all world as they knew it was gone and this is my son and yes I must admit that I’m – I’m guilty of letting him play video games.
I thought it was both convenient as well it was you know great fun and looking back into my younger adulthood I could see that I often escaped into the virtual world back then I had my son only on the weekends and every time we went outside I always had one eye on my phone and the other one trying to interact with my son and we did spend time together playing video games most of the time and he could all come up to me sometimes they say can we go outside and play and I said yes but not now because i needed maybe to level up on some game or I needed to work so i created this perfect electronic babysitter but just placing him in front of a computer and my problems were solved.
Right so actually we have to take a look about the things that we see as a problem and four things so what do you think about a baby who have yet now learn how to speak but not as easily how to incorporate an ipad. Studies shown by Hilda Kabali shows that thirty percent of children under the age of two knows easily how to use an iPad but knows but haven’t yet learned how to speak and also the aged between 0 to 2 the brain doubles in size and continues to grow until they become 25 years. So early brain development is dependent on which environment and which surroundings were in right and also studies showing the 3-4 year olds does easily knows how to control an ipad having difficulties by grasping objects such as blocks, pan, and a paper.
So what is the mobile zombie well actually we see them every day. They’re the ones that is looking at the phones you know in front of them walking and bumping into each others bumping into trees bumping into walls right and my son and I you know we spent a lot of time together and he really loved playing table tennis and I remember this one time he entered this huge tournament and I was sitting at the bench cheering supposedly but I was pretty much just staring down at my phone and he did really good at this tournament. He actually came to the finals and it was about to meet this very tough opponent and they started playing and the school was even he had two points to win and I felt the vibration in my pocket and I had to take up my phone to see what was happening and something new what happened on facebook and i really needed to check it out and I hear the crowd is sharing and I looked up from my phone to see what was happening and it was as if everything was in slow motion everybody’s surrounding my son to congratulate him because he had just won the whole tournament but what I sadly see is that he’s looking at me with these sad Ice knowing that I missed watching and when the last ball that made him the champion of this tournament just because I was too busy looking down at my phone all the time and I could really feel his pain of me not being present in this very moment and for the whole day it did not even want to speak to me again.
So a mobile zombie I’m going to show you some pictures from before and after you become a mobile zombie. You ready ok so this is a picture before a mother interacting with her baby right and this is a picture how it could look more today and father outside playing with this kid or maybe playing but maybe more on his phone. How about this mother reading to her baby or a baby maybe left along with an ipad how about this romantic couple in love looking into each other’s eyes and maybe not so I love looking down at the phones and instead how about this a family connected playing board games or yeah connected but maybe more to the wireless network. So how was that for you so just let that sink in and we will continue. So mobile the new cigarettes it has become a new type of distraction and in certain areas also be called the new cigarette because we have it in our pockets and every time we feel we’re bored or frustrated when we feel some tension.
We have a tendency to always wanting to pick it up because it gives us rewards and pleasure which is called dopamine the same kind of effect as it does with cigarettes. So modern technology has become the new type of distraction we as humans are now starting to react like cats you don’t want a cat when the hear sound or you know this year vibration they are twitching their bodies like that we humans are also starting to twitch our bodies when we hear an SMS or an email sound when we feel a vibration. We are twitching so what happens to our bodies is that we’re releasing adrenaline and cortisol which is the same as stress hormones and if we get too much stress hormones longer periods of time it can become chronic.
So I’m not getting into that so much I’m just going to say that it’s not good. So how much should we allow our children to engage with technology and when do we as a parent say enough you know when do we draw the line because many of us is confused because they’re giving iPads and laptops to kindergarten and preschool right. Does that mean it’s okay I mean it’s a good thought many in many cases they’re good applications and good video games that actually stimulates their development in a positive way of course but in many cases it is not so instead we are seeing them staring straight down and a tablet you know watching the latest disney film or playing a video game and no one can blame my parents for wanting to take the shortcut. I know for a fact I’ve done it for years I know how effectively it can be. I was blaming work that had a company to run so I didn’t have any regular hours I was working late nights and it was pretty bad however you tried to say to your son or your partner. Let’s have some quality time you know maybe watch a movie together and then you’re sitting there at the soul for having your laptop on your knees multitasking trying to work and then also having that quality time I can assure you it’s not a good idea.
It’s not something i can recommend so the distraction has become the norm rather than the exception so we give technology to our children and at the same time miss the quality time. We create this perfect electronic babysitter right by throwing an ipad in their laps and expresses pride by saying well this should keep them quiet for a couple of hours so we have to ask ourselves. The question is a good child is it is a quiet child a good child of course not. We need to interact to you know decipher body language our children need to nag yell scream move their bodies. So our health and happiness is at stake in many cases and i often get this question well if the technology if they don’t have their technology. Who is then going to entertain them. So the myth that our children needs to be entertained is the opposite of what they really need they are becoming more dependent on their parents and i truly believe that they need to learn from life to being in situation where it doesn’t exist quick rewards. You know to learn how to be patient and tolerant wait their turn.
So if we would look at something that is positive for our children that we know. So let’s say movement for instance if a child gets there. normal need of moving their bodies they will also incorporate the managed school more successfully and while some movements can be found in doors it is more optimal to be found outdoors and also physical contact that we know which reduces human anxiety and also reduces adrenaline and cortisol and also to put our children into larger context for them to socialize and larger groups instead of putting them in front of the computer and also nature green environments which we know is both soothing as well as good for the brain and the nervous system in our bodies.
So if we will get some quick tips for parents it could be something like this help to develop new interests right. Create opportunities for children to play for each other and also our children craves parents little attention not video games and also to read to our child maybe half an hour day and I love this quote when somebody said there is no app that can replace your lap. So my son and I went to Thailand to visit my father and we ended up in this local Buddhist monastery way up in the mountains where no man has ever gone before or something like that and the locals were really excited they wanted us to meet this elderly very special Buddhist monk he was probably a light on or something I don’t know but we went up to him and the first thing my son said to him was are you poor and he said actually I’m the wealthiest man on this planet and yet I have nothing and he started to talk about the words of the Dalai Lama by saying you have everything you have big houses but no one to talk to you have many computers because but less communication. You can travel planets but you can hardly go across the street to talk to the neighbor you had a lot of quantity but less quality much knowledge andexperts with more conflicts and after this experience I have myself a wake-up call. I went back home i strip myself on technology for two weeks and i sat down and wanted to prioritize things that I wanted in my life because I could really feel that I was emotionally distant and I wanted to change that so I made us some rules no technology at the dinner table or breakfast no technology in the bedroom and sometimes when we go out we leave the phone at the door. We go training we read books we do stuff and I believe moderation is the key.
It’s like a digital diet just like food we need to find a healthy way to balance our habits and i truly believe that artists and visionaries just like Einstein and Mozart, Michelangelo who often talked about the importance of using our imagination or fantasy to contemplate to be created that makes us humans create big things not only to have that external information but also to create something from within and then let that come out to the world. So pick up your phones and give it back to the rightful owner. So how was that how many did feel some tension hands up restlessness. Okay so be honest how many of you touch the display button to see if you missed anything on your phone. How many ok so that just shows us how important our technology has become that we as humans have this primitive urge to have control of our surroundings and if we are then be given this little device that gives us that control then we have a tendency to always wanted to pick it up all the time. So the the real world is pretty great and the digital role should be added to our live never to be replaced so let’s just think about that the next time when we interact with our children and our loved ones.